Thursday, August 21, 2008
Growing up as a child...dreams fill your mind. You "dream" ...a cherished desire.
Mine was to know my father. My parents divorced when I was just four years old. Young enough to remember a few "moments" that connect you to a person in your life.
Have you ever thought upon the impact you have on some one's life...just a few moments can be a lifetime memory.
I remember my "daddy" cooking in the kitchen. Of all things to remember! Flipping pancakes...perhaps because as a young child this talent impressed me. I can imagine now, the glee from a four year old; as I think upon my grandchildren and how exciting it is for them when I make shaped pancakes. I've made flowers, horses and even accidentally a Triceratops Dinosaur! That brought in a lot of wows! I'm sure my grandsons will always remember "Nana's Tricertop!" and how glad that makes me. To know that just a moment of my time...will stay with them always.
My life as a child held one dream...to be my father's Princess.
This was a great void in my life...could it ever be?
I remember as a child always admiring my friends home life and their Dad. I watched with a longing of being held as they were. A longing to belong to someone securely.
My mother tried her best. She worked hard to raise two daughters alone. She didn't remarry until I left home. Though not without years of searching for "Mr. Right". And of course along with that came heartache for her...but for me as well.
One "Mr. Right"...asked me... at age 10
"Would you like me to be your daddy?"
What a question to ask..ME!
We made preparations of getting dresses for the wedding..and then...he just didn't call anymore. It was cruel and a get back at my mom for saying "no" years earlier.
My trust in men began to wane...as did my dream of ever being some one's Princess.
My parents decided at their divorce not to have visitation and cause distresses in our lives. It was best to go their separate ways. He was in the military and of course this meant orders all over the world. There would be no letters, no calls. Nothing.
His dear mother however, sent birthday cards to my sister and I each year and a sweet Aunt kept in touch with my mother. Maybe this was also a way of keeping up with our childhood and giving my father reports. Genuine love seem to flow in their cards and letters.
My mother had old photos of my father and I would sometimes sit and look over them. Imagining what he was like. He was so handsome and I couldn't understand why they were apart. In some of the photos of myself, I clung to a doll in my arms...
"Did my father give me this doll..just for his little Princess?"
As a child I held onto so many thoughts that would connect me to my father.
Hidden in my heart was his presence.
Today... I think upon the WORD OF GOD and find such comfort in knowing my HEAVENLY FATHER! What secure love and joy I have in Him. If only as a child I had known his great love and the promises and hope found in his ways.
I John 4:18a -19 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment...
We love him, because he first loved us.
I pray that any of you reading this story...will take the time with your children and read to them the Scriptures and lead them to the LORD. Lead them in the paths of hope and assurance. Train them in the way they should go..
II Timothy 3:15 And that from a child thou hast known, the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
To manifest HIS great love for even a child and the wonders of His presence. I'm reminded of Pam at Good News From A Far Country and her daughter's sweet letter to God when their lives were spared in a horrible situation. She knew God the Father had protected them. It was His will at that time. She found a comfort in her young age beyond her parents. GOD.