Thursday, August 21, 2008

Childhood Dreams


Growing up as a child...dreams fill your mind. You "dream" ...a cherished desire.

Mine was to know my father. My parents divorced when I was just four years old. Young enough to remember a few "moments" that connect you to a person in your life.

Have you ever thought upon the impact you have on some one's life...just a few moments can be a lifetime memory.

I remember my "daddy" cooking in the kitchen. Of all things to remember! Flipping pancakes...perhaps because as a young child this talent impressed me. I can imagine now, the glee from a four year old; as I think upon my grandchildren and how exciting it is for them when I make shaped pancakes. I've made flowers, horses and even accidentally a Triceratops Dinosaur! That brought in a lot of wows! I'm sure my grandsons will always remember "Nana's Tricertop!" and how glad that makes me. To know that just a moment of my time...will stay with them always.

My life as a child held one dream...to be my father's Princess.

This was a great void in my life...could it ever be?

I remember as a child always admiring my friends home life and their Dad. I watched with a longing of being held as they were. A longing to belong to someone securely.

My mother tried her best. She worked hard to raise two daughters alone. She didn't remarry until I left home. Though not without years of searching for "Mr. Right". And of course along with that came heartache for her...but for me as well.

One "Mr. Right"...asked me... at age 10

"Would you like me to be your daddy?"

What a question to ask..ME!

We made preparations of getting dresses for the wedding..and then...he just didn't call anymore. It was cruel and a get back at my mom for saying "no" years earlier.

My trust in men began to wane...as did my dream of ever being some one's Princess.

My parents decided at their divorce not to have visitation and cause distresses in our lives. It was best to go their separate ways. He was in the military and of course this meant orders all over the world. There would be no letters, no calls. Nothing.

His dear mother however, sent birthday cards to my sister and I each year and a sweet Aunt kept in touch with my mother. Maybe this was also a way of keeping up with our childhood and giving my father reports. Genuine love seem to flow in their cards and letters.

My mother had old photos of my father and I would sometimes sit and look over them. Imagining what he was like. He was so handsome and I couldn't understand why they were apart. In some of the photos of myself, I clung to a doll in my arms...

"Did my father give me this doll..just for his little Princess?"

As a child I held onto so many thoughts that would connect me to my father.

Hidden in my heart was his presence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today... I think upon the WORD OF GOD and find such comfort in knowing my HEAVENLY FATHER! What secure love and joy I have in Him. If only as a child I had known his great love and the promises and hope found in his ways.

I John 4:18a -19 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment...
We love him, because he first loved us.


I pray that any of you reading this story...will take the time with your children and read to them the Scriptures and lead them to the LORD. Lead them in the paths of hope and assurance. Train them in the way they should go..

II Timothy 3:15 And that from a child thou hast known, the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.


To manifest HIS great love for even a child and the wonders of His presence. I'm reminded of Pam at Good News From A Far Country and her daughter's sweet letter to God when their lives were spared in a horrible situation. She knew God the Father had protected them. It was His will at that time. She found a comfort in her young age beyond her parents. GOD.

10 comments:

Tammy said...

My Dad died at the age of 3 and I have no memories of him.

I do know that God is a Father to the Fatherless and am very thankful.

Thank you for such a beautiful heart felt post!♥

Pam--in Jerusalem said...

I knew part of your story, but I didn't realize how much ours were alike. Almost everything you said about your Dad could be said about my Mom. I can tell that I'm really going to gain some HOPE from this journey you'll be taking us on!

How sweet of you to mention my daughter on your post. I am SO thankful that God is such a large part of my children's lives.

Sharon said...

Bless your heart Hope! However, the Father in Heaven is always there for us and never leaves us. :)

HOPE said...

Thank you Tammy for your touching comment...my heart rejoices that you know the best Father of all! He fills all voids.

I knew Pam that we would touch hearts deeply here. You are a great mom and your husband a great dad...to know how much your children already acknowledge God in their lives is such a blessing.

Sharon..AMEN.

I appreciate very much the comments..thank you ladies!!

~~Deby said...

Some of us had a father at home....a man that used alcohol and brought so much pain to my life.....it got a bit better before he died...it hasn't always been a easy path trusting GOD, my heavenly Father....it has been a process...I am still in it.
~~Deby

Joyfulsister said...

Hi Hope, What a touching testimony. But just look at how much love you have inside of you for your family, You have the love of your heavenly father within you. You write with such wisdom and you are truly a encourager to all who come and read. You are ministering to the hearts of those women who have gone through a similar journey as you.

Hugz Lorie

blackberrycottage said...

Hope, I was so touched reading your post about your Daddy. Then when I read that you wanted to be your father's princess, and I realised....YOU ARE!
Our Father in heaven is our father and we are His princesses. You........me.....what a precious thought.
I am so sorry you didn't have a Dad right there in your home, but i pray that the Lord will restore what the locusts have eaten, that you will have a peace knowing you are truly a princess of the King, the King of Kings.
hugs Sandra in NZ

CONNIE'S THOUGHTS FROM THE HEART said...

When I read this post, I thought of our daughter,who we adopted and love like she came from my body. Her whole life has been confused to say the least of a Mom who gave her away as she puts it and a Dad that did nothing to stop it, even though he was in jail at the time.

She has always had feelings of being rejected and had a hard time in her life because of it. Her coming to know the Saviour about a year ago has made a great difference in her life also. I pray that one day, she will be able to trust and love as she learns through her relationship with the Lord how he loved soooo much. Thank you, Hope for this post. It really touched my heart and brought back so many memories of years past. connie from Texas

HOPE said...

How wonderful of you Connie as with Deb..to adopt these children with such a great need..within.

I know you both have such loving hearts and Praises to the LORD that these children will always have the hope they need.

Thank you for your continued visits and friendship!

Deby...my heart goes to you sincerely...I know many friends who have exprienced the same. Thank the LORD he has given you a good husband to fill some of the void with his love...and knowing our Heavenly Father as you do..have all the security you need.
Hugs..

Joyfulsister said...

Hi Hope just dropped by to say hello and see how you're doing *smile*.

Hugz Lorie